Monday
Owning your Power:
- women want permission -- men never ask permission; they just DO
- women are expected to build consensus whereas men are expected to just move forward
- it's takes longer to build consensus but you can avoid pitfalls (e.g., being seen as aggressive rather than assertive)
- don't wait for permission or to be asked
- when things go wrong:
- you can make a decision to stay & fight & possibly get beaten down or leave
- it's OK to leave & save yourself!
- you can change your environment without leaving the company (e.g., change managers, change roles, go part-time, take a sabbatical)
- women are loyal & will stay in relationships/companies longer; they tend to take more abuse & let others be the aggressors
- you are more powerful if you are diversified
- consulting, speaking, teaching,
- blogging can help you advertise your skills, ideas, .. get support, PR, & feedback
- if people know they can take it from you, they will
- realize it's not personal
- seek support from outside -- don't allow yourself to be isolated
- put yourself in a position where people can take from you (e.g., financial freedom, option to leave & work elsewhere, technical knowledge to back you up, support from others)
- it's not about right or wrong, it's about what you want
- how do I get this task done?
- don't get distracted with "was I justified?" or "is this fair?"
- be authentic, true to yourself
- recognize your power
- practice your power
- "Act as if" may not work if you can't own it or don't do it well
- it doesn't mean admitting all of your faults
- you have to like who you are
- find a mentor to practice with & emulate
How to convey your ideas in 3 min. or less:
Imagine you have 3-5 min. to sell your big idea to the one person in the world that can make it happen. What would you say? How would you say it?
- keep it to only 2 or 3 main pts -- people will usually forget more than that
- know your goal
- don't think of yourself as a public speaker
- humility & humor can go a long way
- you don't have to deal w/ the hecklers in the crowd
- don't over prepare
- your audience wants you to succeed -- they don't want to see you suffer or fail to present good information because it's uncomfortable for them & a waste of their time
- communicate your passion -- don't try to sell what you don't believe in
- the elevator pitch
- keep it in your pocket (e.g., index card) in case you meet the one person that can make a difference; you will likely forget everything if you actually meet up with Larry or Sergey
- practice in front of a mirror
- keep it to 3-5 min.
- no slides (just the index card)
- tell a story to connect the key points & make it memorable
- your abstract (if this is a published/announced presentation)
- don't give away the whole speech
- keep the title short & catchy
- leave your audience wanting more
- don't make it a defense of what you have to say
- slides (if this is a formal presentation)
- make the handouts first & then cull down for slides
- build a flow
- no more than 5 main headings
- don't do it on company logo slides
- sanity check w/ spouse
- trim it down, down, down
- don't use more than one font
- limit text effects
- simple slide transitions
- no eye charts, graphs, diagrams
- keep the audience engaged (eye contact, humor, personalize, question/interact)
- do not read slides
- connect w/ audience
- be personal
- it's not about YOU, it's about the content
- practice w/ microphone
- make sure water is available
- use bathroom beforehand
- have a time keeper
- encourage Q&A, don't fake an answer, & deal w/ heckler's question first
- encourage short questions
Tuesday
How to be a mom & a geek:
- the taboo topics
- miscarriages
- fertility treatments
- postpartum depression
- breast feeding trouble
- difficulty transitioning back to work
- women must talk about the topics so we all realize we are not alone! Don't suffer in silence! Together we can make a difference.
- postpartum
- get support
- hire help (night nurse, cleaning); you don't have to do it all & you shouldn't have to
- mommy dates
- support groups
- blogs
- TechMama (http://techmamas.typepad.com/)
- Blog Her (http://www.blogher.org/)
- FlexSperence (http://www.flexperiencestaffing.com/)
- Silicon Valley Moms (http://svmomblog.typepad.com/silicon_valley_moms_blog/)
- MommyTracked (http://www.mommytrackd.com/)
- returning to work
- ask HR if they offer maternity leave (& return) sensitivity training to managers; if not, request it!
- have to prove yourself all over again when returning to work
- if things are bad, change your environment
- change manager
- change jobs
- take a sabbatical
- work part-time
- missing relationship w/ husband
- go out periodically to get to know each other
- work together
- couples therapy
- books
- The Baby Whisperer
- Milk Memos
Shameless self-promotion:
- book: "Brag"
- know your belief system & what you are bringing to the table
- know your strengths in order to sell them
- inspiration
- who & what inspires us?
- seek them out
- be surrounded by people that inspire you to model yourself after them
- talking about you & yourself -- you never know if that person will be key
- create your own elevator pitch -- what do you do or who are you in under 3 min.?
- share what your passionate about -- and oh by the way, that's what I work on
- what makes you or your product different?
- what makes you inspiring, better, unique?
- you can take tests (e.g., Meyers Brigs so it can help you see those things in your)
- ask friends/family to describe you
- get your message out there & say it over & over & over
- say it the same way, same words, same message every time
- forward those thank you emails to your manager & save them in Kudos file
- send out survey for feedback & save it
- give presentations
- send out snippets
- free business cards on VistaPrint.com
- start that reference process, get testimonials
- personal friend is your best referral
- credibility is based on what your audience perceives you know
- passion is infectious
- host parties/events/conferences
- you have permission to talk to everyone about anything
- you have the stage to promote yourself
Leading & Managing Teams:
- male/female communication styles are quite different
- get a mentor
- network up & out
- reach out & sell yourself
- take on the grungy problems
- don't fall into the pitfalls (e.g., being the mom, cleaning house, filling candy dishes)
- be a thumbtack (really sharp in one area)
- change conclusion, not fact: people won't believe you are a leader until you believe it & live it
- what is your value-add?
- build consensus beforehand/offline
- when seeking feedback, be specific about what you are looking for (e.g., not agreement to the idea but ideas for XYZ)
- you're judged on results
- don't try to "act like a man" because it will not be appreciated
- women are more likely to tell stories when trying to make a point but men are more likely to speak in bullet points
- have a vision (goal for a meeting, objective for the project, outcome for project)
- make a decision
- take risks & be willing to make mistakes
- integrity
- communicate effectively
- help others succeed
- team building
- don't feel bad about asking questions or not knowing the answer
- champion other women; network, refer other women
